Face-saving is the heaviest set of fetters on one's mind

From:Voice of Longquan     Author:Voice of Longquan     Time:2018-03-03 09:10:18
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Face saving, or rather pride, refers to one's vanity. It is about others' opinions of you, which is conjured up by yourself. In most cases, it is the heaviest set of fetters on one's mind. A person who is much concerned about his face lives in constant suspense and anxiety, fussing about every small detail and straining every nerve to please others; the pursuit of this illusive glory will end up with losing one's true heart.

Q: Amitabha! Master, how do we treat depression? Why do people become depressed?

A: Generally, everyone is sick with afflictions. Yet we seldom learn how to understand our mind and cleanse it of afflictions although we have spent a lot of time learning knowledge. When we can do nothing about bad feelings or traumas brought about by external circumstances or experiences, sentimental people suffer more and are likely to fall into abyss of depression. To treat depression, we should solicit help from medication and Buddha Dharma as well.   


Q: Greetings Master! Today when chatting with two female friends, I mentioned another person and gave candid comments on him. Unexpectedly, my words triggered one of the two gossipers about that person's shortcomings. Then I pointed it out that she was giving off negative energy. Yet both maintained that I was hypocritical and pretended to be moral and noble. What should I do, Master?

A: Make sure you do right. Meanwhile, do not look down upon people who do wrong.


Q: Greetings Master! As an old Chinese saying goes, a person cannot thrive with  losing face, and a tree cannot survive with the bark stripped off. That saying illustrates the importance of face saving for a person. So I'm wondering if it is wrong to be concerned about face-saving and if this concern is an indication of self-attachment. What's your opinion on face-saving?

A: Face saving, or rather pride, refers to one's vanity. It is about others' opinions of you, which is conjured up by yourself. In most cases, it is the heaviest set of fetters on one's mind. A person who is much concerned about his face lives in constant suspense and anxiety, fussing about every small detail and straining every nerve to please others; the pursuit of this illusive glory will end up with losing one's true heart.


Q: What is the difference between self-pride and self-esteem?

A: Self-esteem is about self-respect and self-discipline. Many people misunderstand it and demand others’ respect.

Editor:Bella Liu
Tags:depression, afflictions, face saving, self-pride, self-esteem

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