Bring up children with proper methods (I)

From:Voice of Longquan     Author:Voice of Longquan     Time:2016-08-21 17:12:47
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Blessing comes from virtual deeds and good karmas instead of exam scores. Happiness comes from inner compassion and wisdom instead of hobbies. Once a person sets the aims and values of life, he/she will know what to work on.

Q: Master, my son is a timid boy and bullied by others sometimes. How should I help him? I feel heartbroken but don't know what I can do.

A: Being brave or timid is a minor issue. The more important is fostering good qualities. You should encourage him to take part in charitable activities because this will broaden his mind, attain his goodness, and furthermore grow his virtues and wisdom.


Q: Master! My son and I sometimes play war games. Should I start to shorten the game time in order not to increase his interest as I think he is too young to understand the true meaning of war? I explained to him that wars were caused by humans' greed which led to human sufferings. So, we didn't want wars. He cannot fully understand because of his age.

A: Kids should focus on things more meaningful in stead of playing games.


Q: Hello, Master! What to do if a kid does not behave in school? Teachers do not know what to do with him. They can neither beat nor scold him, and reasoning him into school rules doesn't work at all. The parents do not discipline him though they are aware of his behaviors in school. He even dares to offend against the school rules and teachers. What can we do to change him? Could you please give me some advice? 

A: Actually, the kid also feels painful himself when doing these. When educating him, first you should accept him from the bottom of heart; second, be patient to him. Do not always think how to change him. Parents should reflect on own faults first. 


Q: Master, What type of education should I choose for my child, the happiness-oriented education or the exam-oriented education? You once said that people must live a hard life at a certain stage, old or young, either this life or afterlife. So I chose the latter, namely hard life at young stage. However, there is also another saying that people should live in the current moment. If choosing the exam-oriented education, my child will have to give up his hobbies and spend more time on homework, which will make him less happy. Unreasonably high expectation is not a natural process for him. Considering this, I should not choose for him to live a hard life at a young age. What should I do, Master? 

A: Blessing comes from virtual deeds and good karmas instead of exam scores. Happiness comes from inner compassion and wisdom instead of hobbies. Once a person sets the aims and values of life, he/she will know what to work on.


Q: My son has been lazy and restless on his study recently. I couldn’t help beating him each time when I got angry. Afterward, I felt regret. I don't think it was a good method of discipline. I am puzzled on what to do?

A: I suppose he wants to be like this neither. He, however, can't control his mind just like you can’t control your emotions. As parents, your role should shift from a ruler-maker to a companion and supporter. You should listen carefully to him, accompany him. You may also bring him to Beijing Longquan Monastery in summer vocation to experience the Buddhist teachings and make good friends. 

Editor:Summer
Tags:children, study, proper methods

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